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January 27, 2015 • Home Selling Tips

Crazy Home Selling Tips You’ve Never Heard Of

Home selling tips have come a long way from just making sure there was a roof overhead and an outhouse in the back. Although in years past, those may have been some of the bigger selling points when home buying, most homes now have a built-in bathroom and a roof with shingles that keeps the rain out. However, there are still some tips that should be adhered to when selling your home, and if they are followed, you can be assured of top dollar when the “sold” sign is placed in the front yard.

Size Up Your Potential Buyers

If you are going to be showing a home to young hipsters or liberal free spirits, make sure you aren’t wearing any shoes and that you are wearing a clean pair of yoga pants. In every room you enter, say, “Yes, I feel the warmth and love here.” Be sure to stress how unique and one-of-a-kind your house is.

For those conservatives on the list ask not what the potential buyers can do for you, but what you can do for the potential buyers. Nothing speaks better than a suit and a tie, no matter what gender you are, and make sure to have several Ronald Reagan buttons attached to your chest. When you enter every room and begin describing it, always end the selling points with, “Read my lips.”

Squeaky Doors

There’s an old saying in the realty business, and it goes like this: “Quiet doors sell houses, squeaky doors sell homes.” Virtually everyone who was growing up always remembers the squeaky doors in their home from when they were young. Before breaking out the WD40, consider giving the prospective customer a warm and fuzzy feeling from their youth and leave a few doors in their natural state. If no doors are currently squeaking, a towel and a hair dryer pointed at the hinges should do the job nicely.

The Aunt Bertha and Uncle Tenoose Initiative

Make sure that any potential customer knows that Aunt Bertha and Uncle Tenoose have already looked at the house and are ready to buy. You know the type. Bertha and Tenoose are loud, overbearing and obnoxious. If they were to buy the house, the neighborhood would never be the same. You can use the Aunt Bertha and Uncle Tenoose Initiative and tell the prospective buyers that it is up to them to save the neighborhood, buy the house, keep Bertha and Tenoose away and everyone will be happy. It works every time.

Every realtor sometimes need the proverbial “ace in the hole” to sell a home. Using these tips will close the deal when other methods won’t, and can give you an edge over any other selling method. Best of all, they’ll keep Aunt Bertha and Uncle Tenoose from causing havoc in virtually any neighborhood they might want to buy a house in. And that’s the best reason to incorporate these tips every time you are selling a house.

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