Don’t panic! Parenting is a tough topic for all of us at RealEstateAgent.com that’s why we wanted to debate over the most common problems we run into when we have small children and what to expect when they grow up. So, this blog is all about how to overcome the big and not so big problems in our lives as parents.
You know, it’s so easy to get the “bad parent” label nowadays. If you happen to stay in line at the supermarket and your kid starts crying, all eyes will stare at you as if you were an irresponsible parent who doesn’t know how to keep a child silent. All other parents seem to forget that they’ve been in the exact same situation too. Nowadays, though, people seem to react faster to what happens to them. If they didn’t like the food at a restaurant, they quickly leave a bad review. And if they could leave a review for your parenting, they wouldn’t hesitate to give you one star out of five, for sure. Let’s not jump to the wrong conclusion too easily. Maybe the way a child behaves is completely out of the parent’s control. You have no idea what other parents go through.
Do you think you’re a good parent? Or do you have doubts and plenty of questions without an answer? How many stars will your children give you for everything you’ve done to raise them? No matter what season you are in your parenting life, there will always be problems between parents and children. On the one hand, parents want to have full control over them. On the other hand, as they mature, children want more independence and freedom to act according to their own feelings and judgment.
Little Kids, Little Problems
Young parents are often overwhelmed by their little kids’ problems. They are afraid that something may go wrong at any minute. What if their child doesn’t develop normally? What if they don’t see or hear properly? What if they eat something they are not supposed to or choke on something? So, all these concerns build up. For many, these may seem like little problems that will soon vanish. But for them, they are a huge source of stress. Then, they might have to face different types of behavioral problems.
Children are curious and often do exactly the exact opposite their parents tell them to do. That’s why most parents rely on childproofing the home to take some little and big problems off of their shoulders. But when children constantly misbehave and embarrass you, they might need help. The main types of behavioral problems are Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Conduct Disorder (CD), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), aggression, defiance, lying and whining.
Child behavior problems and solutions
While we can all agree that bad behavior should be punished, there will be a lot of debate on how far should a parent go in order to correct his or her child’s way of reacting to things he/she doesn’t like or when he/she doesn’t get a much-anticipated thing. Children have a hard time accepting a “No” for an answer. That’s why many moms have to deal with mom guilt and often succumb to their child’s whining. In most cases, the solution to a child’s behavioral problem is a change in their home environment – more love, more affection, fewer arguments and the presence of both parents help the child develop harmoniously.
In case you’re wondering, “How can I help my child with behavior problems?” – here are a few simple solutions that may help your child get better at interacting with you and with strangers as well as at managing his or her emotions.
Manage screen time
It’s easy to leave your children in front of the TV or with a phone in their hands. However, don’t overdo it! The more permissive you are when they are little kids, the harder it will be to keep them off their screens when they grow up. Screen time should be like a dessert for them, like a reward for their good behavior. Because you know they crave it so bad, you can use it as currency.
Get a pet
Certain types of behavioral problems can make it hard for your child to bind friendship relationships with other kids. So, one way to help them become friendlier and playful could be to bring a new pet into your home. Therapy dogs or emotional support animals can do wonders. They help ADHD children to calm down, stay focused and create a daily routine. Besides, dogs also allow them to use all the excess energy they have, taking them for a walk.
Another benefit of having a furry friend is that it distracts children’s attention and takes off the negative pressure of stressful life events such as the death of a loved one or a divorce.
Install an in-ground swimming pool
What better place to have some fun family time than around a pool? We have already discussed the pros and cons of installing an in-ground swimming pool and it came out as a good investment. Then, water has a relaxing and calming effect, helping children self-sooth. And another way to help a hyperactive child calm down is to prepare some bottles with water and glitter. Let them shake the bottles and watch the glitter fall to the bottom – it will instantly prove to be a great solution. And we all love the therapies not based on any subscription pills that create lifelong dependency.
Installing an in-ground swimming pool, though, may make parents feel worried about their children. So, it’s important to teach them how to swim from an early age so that they can fearlessly enjoy the water. Nevertheless, parents still have to keep an eye on them and if necessary, to install a fence around the pool and even a pool cover. Also, to prevent panic in the pool, make sure all drains are covered properly to prevent any body parts from getting sucked in them.
Move to another city
The decision to leave from one place is probably among the hardest decisions to make, especially when you have kids. But following a child’s best interest is also the best thing to do as a parent, even though moves can be stressful for the whole family. Where to move? First of all, find the best cities for families and the best schools for your children. Then, find a real estate agent to help you make the whole process as smooth as possible. Maybe all your kids need is more space and more time to spend outdoors.
How can I help my child with behavior problems after moving?
Children who have behavior problems are often misunderstood and marginalized. Many people blame their parents without knowing the symptoms of a behavior problem such as ADHD. And that’s not fair. Moving from one place to another takes its toll on children, altering their mood. They may feel lonely. They may miss their friends and relatives, and even their old school. They might have a hard time making new friends. Or they may even experience bullying.
Communication is usually the best medicine. Talk about their problems and try to find creative solutions together. Find a sports team your child can join, a choir, an art class. Stay in touch with your friends with regular video calls. And if your children face bullying, make sure they tell you so that you take action. Don’t exclude the idea of talking to a therapist. It may help, too.
Big Kids, Big Problems
When children grow, problems start to take another shape. On the one hand, as parents, you start to lose control over your children’s lives. On the other hand, your children want to become independent and self-sufficient. You knew that one day it will happen. Every child transitions differently into maturity. They often put themselves in dangerous situations, keeping parents awake at night. As kids approach adolescence, parents must prepare for really difficult situations.
Sex education is a must. It is good to talk openly about the worst-case scenario with both your girls and boys. Don’t pretend that their bodies don’t have hormones. Besides, think about the peer pressure. Just tell them to be careful and think twice before becoming too intimate with someone. Ask teachers, “What are the problems faced by students in school?” and they’ll tell you that teenage pregnancy is an issue that demands immediate attention.
Drugs and alcohol
Teens are not only curious but also very proud, ready to take on any challenge. The last thing they want is to be considered cowards. So, they’ll end up experimenting with drugs and alcohol, without knowing their limits. The last thing you want as a parent is to find that your child was caught drunk behind the wheel. So, some parents have become more open when it comes to experimenting alongside their teenage children. They are open to let their children try anything they want (drinks or cigars) in their presence and under their strict supervision. In this way, they can quickly understand what effect a certain drink or smoke has on their body and how much is enough.
As teens begin to experiment the night life in the city, parents must also put safety first. A rule of thumb should be that their children should text them a “safe word” or a “safe phrase” to let them know they have to come and pick them up for whatever reason. If they don’t feel comfortable, if they don’t like the place or simply because of a headache, they should text their parents the “safe words” and they’ll arrive as soon as they can.
To go or not to go to college?
The amount of student debt keeps increasing as students try to get the best higher education that money can buy. About one-third of those enrolled in college education drop out for various reasons, lack of funding being one of them. With a supportive family, most students can finish their studies and find a good-paying job. However, do not push your child into debt unless you will be able to give him or her a hand just in case things don’t go as planned. They can still make it as real estate agents or as qualified professionals in other lucrative industries where the cost of education is a lot more affordable.
To rent or to buy?
Probably the biggest problem of all has to do with housing. How long should children stay with their parents? When should they move? Should they live with their significant other? Or would you rather see them walk down the aisle first? Then, there is the cherry on the top: should they buy a house or rent? Depending on their plans for the future, both options may work for them. This renter’s guide should help them rent their first apartment with no stress. Besides, if you know a few things about divorce and real estate, your child would be better off buying a house before getting married.
Children are a gift. They bring joy and responsibility at the same time. They may bring problems in your life, but how you react to those problems will carve your children’s character later. Don’t make a big deal out of a little deal. Learn to control your emotions and reactions, too. After all, children learn through imitation. When you look at them, what do you see? Are your children simple copies of yourself, or a better version of yourself? We often say that you live and learn. Now it’s your turn to help your child get past any mistakes that you have lived through and learned through.